What Really Matters
by mutantpenguins
Summary: When Ed comes home from a mission too soon, he and Roy are forced to re-examine what really matters in their lives. Ed/Roy, deserves the T rating, and Ember promises it has a happy ending!
1. The Story

Hey all.

So Ember got this idea into her head. It happens like all the time, apparently. But she's sure you Ed/Roy fans out there aren't complaining.

Speaking of which, flames are sexy when they come from one person and one person only. Anyone else tries, it's kind of annoying. None of you are Roy Mustang, so don't even bother. Please. Save yourself some time and Ember some needless frustration.

And now, on with the story! Trust Ember, it gets better and happier toward the end! Promise!

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_What Really Matters_

It wasn't like he'd had no idea this was coming, Edward Elric admitted as he finished packing his suitcase.

It had only ever been sex. It wasn't like they had been anything to each other apart from someone to screw around with. Ed knew that. Even though he had lived at the man's house, it was just a matter of simplicity and not because they actually cared for each other like that.

Ed knew that. Still, it hurt like hell.

He had come home from a mission a night too soon, thinking nothing of letting himself into the place he'd started to call home. He certainly hadn't expected anyone but his lover to be there.

He'd known it was coming. He knew going into this that the man loved her and that when she came around he'd have to leave to let them be together.

He heard footsteps approach from behind. "I'm sorry, Ed. I hadn't meant for you to find out like this."

"It's all right, Roy," Ed said for what felt like the millionth time. "I knew this was going to happen, and I'm happy for you two."

He wasn't, but he sure as hell wouldn't let Roy know that.

As he left he passed her. Waving off her apologies as well, he walked out of the door.

Turning briefly, he saw Roy watching him. Smiling as happily as he possibly could, he waved before walking off, unable to keep the tears from falling as soon as he was out of sight.

~*~*~

Roy closed the door gently after Ed walked out of sight. Turning to Riza, he said, "Sorry about that. I didn't think he'd come back early, and I wish he didn't have to find out that way."

Riza frowned slightly. "You were together?"

Roy shook his head. "Not like that. There was never any emotional commitment. I guess the best way to describe it is a one-night stand repeated over six months."

Yet Roy really had to wonder if that was true as he cast a brief glance at his door. Sure, Ed had taken everything spectacularly well, and Roy was finally with the woman of his dreams, but why did he suddenly feel as if his life had just walked out that door?

Turning back to Riza with a smile, he led her back into the house to offer her some food and company.

The strangest thing about all this was that his heart was no longer in what he was doing. He had wished for this day (although he admitted he wished it had panned out differently with telling Ed) for years, and now he wanted nothing to do with it.

He wouldn't tell anyone that, though. Maybe it was all just because he wished things had gone better and Ed had been gently informed instead of walking in on them kissing.

This was what he had wanted, and he would take it. He would accept it even if it felt like his heart was slowly breaking each time he looked at her and saw him for a split second.

~*~*~

Ed finally made it back to his brother's home in Risembool the next evening, having taken a train as soon as he'd left Roy's house.

Al opened the door, staring when he saw Ed standing there. "Brother, I thought you were going back to Central…"

"Well, I was," Ed replied.

"What happened?"

"Something I've known was coming for a while. In any case, I don't have a place to stay anymore, since I'm sure he wants me out of the way, so I figured I'd come back here for a while."

"Brother, that doesn't answer much. What did he do?" Al's tone took on a dangerous note as they walked to the room where Ed would stay, making Ed worry that Roy would have to deal with a fist every bit as hard as the armor Al's soul had previously resided in.

"He finally found the person he really wants to be with," Ed said with a tired smile. "And I'm happy he did."

"Are you sure, Brother? I thought—"

"You thought wrong. We both knew what we had would amount to nothing in the end. He has Riza now. There's no place for me there." Ed's smile had vanished as soon as he started speaking. "Good night. It's been a long day and I really need some sleep."

As soon as the door closed and Ed was alone he leaned his back against it tiredly. Sliding down the door he sat there, head in hands.

What had happened? He'd known this day was coming, he should've been better able to handle it. So why was he struggling to just not fall apart?

Why did it hurt so bad to know that Roy had found happiness and he wasn't a part of it?

As soon as that thought entered his mind he began shaking with silent sobs. Tears streamed down his face one after another, unchecked now that Ed was alone.

There was no point in keeping up that façade of happiness. He was alone, there was no one he needed to convince he was fine. Even if he tried to convince himself of that, he knew he'd never believe it. He couldn't—not when he was being torn apart from the inside.

~*~*~

Roy lay awake that night with Riza sleeping in his arms, unable to stop thinking about how undeniably _wrong_ this felt.

She was too tall. She should've been a few inches shorter, just tall enough to fit perfectly to Roy's frame.

She was too soft, all curves where there should've been firm planes and muscle.

Her hair was the wrong color. It was a few shades lighter than the pure gold he'd gotten used to.

If her eyes had been open they'd have been the wrong color too, far too brown.

She was too warm. There should've been at least one cold unfeeling limb thrown over him.

She was too quiet. She merely gasped and made quiet little noises instead of yelling profanities or screaming his name.

Really, though, it all boiled down to one thing.

She wasn't _him_.

Roy had waited for this opportunity for a while, but it wasn't really the one he was meant to stick with. He had passed by the one that was really for him, casting him aside without a second look back.

It was during times like these that Roy could be honest with himself. He didn't want this.

He wanted what he'd previously had. He just hoped Ed could see that too. If not he just might fall apart.

Riza stirred, moving closer with a yawn, and again a wave of vague repulsion moved through Roy. It just wasn't _right_.

Riza seemed to realize that too, for she looked up at him with serious eyes. "We need to talk," she said quietly, looking as though she was about to leave something important behind.

"About what?" Roy asked, not entirely sure just what she was talking about.

"About how you're still in love with him, so I'm getting out of this while I still can."

~*~*~

Ed woke up a few nights later and rolled onto his side, searching for a body that wasn't there.

When had he gotten so used to sleeping at his side? It felt like a whole half of him was missing.

At this thought he was unable to stop the tears once more. He had been crying—no, sobbing his guts out—whenever he was alone, as quietly as possible so as not to let Al know anything was wrong. Still, though, it seemed like he had plenty of emotion and tears left, and probably always would.

Apparently he hadn't done as good a job of keeping quiet as he'd thought. Footsteps ran down the hallway and the next thing Ed knew he had practically been tackled by a well-meaning Alphonse.

Ed clung to him, shaking hard, sobbing against his shoulder as Al held him close. It wasn't the same—nothing would ever come close. But just now he would welcome comfort from just about anyone.

When he was finally done for the time being, Al quietly said, "I knew you weren't telling me everything. It won't do anyone any good at all to stay like this, wearing a mask throughout the day and falling apart at night." Looking at Ed he sighed. "Tell me what's going on," he insisted quietly.

Even though he was sure he couldn't cry any more than he already had, Ed's eyes stung and he was sure they were going watery again. "I love him," he said quietly. "And now it's too late to do anything about it."

"Oh, _Ed,_" Al said quietly as he pulled him as close as he physically could, again silently offering whatever comfort Ed could take in this situation.

Ed fell asleep like that, in the arms of his younger brother. He couldn't help wishing, though, that it had been _his_ arms instead.

~*~*~

A few days later Roy found himself in front of Alphonse Elric's Risembool home. He had spent a long time after his talk with Riza trying to find Ed, but the blond was nowhere to be found in Central.

This was Roy's last hope. If Ed wasn't here or Al didn't know where he was he wasn't sure what he'd do.

When Al opened the door, Roy had expected a bit of shock. After all, he hadn't let Al know he was coming.

However, once the surprise cleared from Al's face it was instantly replaced by a cold rage that Roy _hadn't _been expecting. "What are _you_ doing here?" he demanded, frigid disdain dripping from the words.

"I… Al, have you seen Ed lately?"

Al's evident rage intensified. "And what if I had? Why the hell should I tell you?"

Roy stared, shocked by the younger man's vehemence.

Al didn't even pause to notice. "If you saw him now, what would you do? Why should I let you see him when he already cries whenever he's alone _because of you_?!"

Those harsh words cut into Roy deeper than anything else had in his lifetime. His eyes widened and it felt like a part of him had shattered, knowing he had caused Ed that much pain.

Al continued. "Well? Give me one reason I should let you talk to him. And it had damn well better be good, or you'll find your sorry ass back in Central sooner than you blink."

This time Roy didn't even notice the uncharacteristic threat. He stood there silently for a moment or two before replying quietly, "Because I love him and I want to try and make things right."

It took a second for Roy's answer to sink in. When it finally did, Al smiled tiredly. "It's about damn time," he muttered. "He's upstairs, first door on the right. And he's probably in really bad shape right about now, so don't be too surprised."

Roy thanked Al quietly and followed his instructions, opening the door to a sight that made his heart break all over again.

Ed lay on the bed, hair hopelessly tangled as if it had been neglected for days, clutching at a pillow as his shoulders shook silently. Roy knew without seeing them that his eyes would have reddened severely and tears would be resolutely clinging to his eyelashes.

The image tore him apart further than any word Al had said ever could.

Before he could stop himself, he whispered a single word. "Ed…"

~*~*~

Ed lifted his head off the pillow when he heard his own name whispered by that voice. Staring at the figure in the doorway, he asked under his breath wonderingly, "Is this some kind of dream?"

Roy slowly walked towards the bed, as if he was afraid his very presence would tear Ed apart. "Ed, I…" he trailed off, carefully sitting at Ed's side.

Ed turned his face back into the pillow as tears returned to his eyes. "It must be. This is all just some twisted dream and then I'll wake up and you won't be there and—" He couldn't continue. The pain was just too great.

Ed felt a tentative hand touch his back, gently rubbing up against his shoulder blades as if to offer comfort. "You're not dreaming, Ed. It's real. I'm really here, and I won't leave unless you want me to."

Ed trusted that voice. He trusted it far too much, which was a part of this whole problem. But he desperately wanted to believe that he wasn't dreaming. He _wanted _Roy to be there so bad it hurt.

It was time to end this dream. Sitting up and reaching out with a trembling hand he gently touched Roy's face, surprised when it didn't vanish before his eyes.

Maybe this wasn't a dream after all. Maybe he _was_ really there.

Shakily moving, he wrapped his arms around Roy and buried his face in the older man's shoulder. Breathing in, he whispered, "Maybe this is real. No matter how good my dreams were I could never smell you."

He had cried all those days because of Roy's absence. So why was it that when he was here all he could do was cling to him and let tears fall once more? It didn't make any sense to Ed.

Then again, it didn't matter because Roy's arms were around him and his hands were gently stroking his back and he was whispering things in Ed's ear that he couldn't really hear. But it didn't matter what he was saying because he was _here_ and he was holding him. Everything was as it should be.

Finally, Ed pulled away far enough to see Roy's face. Roy was smiling tenderly at him and it was making him feel all kinds of strange and wonderful things.

Before this could continue Ed had something he needed to straighten out. "But… what about _her_?"

"What about her?" Roy repeated.

"You know full well what! Why did you think I left in the first place? I knew from the beginning she was the one you really wanted, and when I saw you two together I knew there wasn't a place for me anymore!" Ed snarled, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

Roy's statement was simple. "We had a talk. She wasn't who I thought she would be, and we reached an understanding. She's just a friend, as she should have been the whole time. Things between her and I were better that way."

Then Roy's hands were tangling gently in his hair, holding both sides of his head with a firm and gentle grasp. "I love you," Roy said. "I'm sorry it took me so long to work that out."

Ed didn't hear the apology. He had focused in on the three-word declaration.

Roy was here, and he loved him. It was almost too much, and all Ed could do was press trembling lips all over Roy's face as he replied over and over again, "I love you too."

They stayed there like that for quite some time before Ed finally pulled back enough to look Roy in the eye. Roy was having none of that, though, and for the first time in far too long their lips met.

Instantly Ed could tell that this was different. This was no creation of passion and lust, unlike every kiss they had shared before. No, this was gentle and soft and sweet and loving and Ed couldn't believe Roy was kissing him like that.

Finally they gently broke apart, neither going far as Ed buried his face in Roy's shoulder once more and Roy nuzzled his hairline. They didn't say anything. Words would have just ruined it. They didn't really matter. What mattered was the closeness they shared.

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See? It got happier, didn't it?

You may have noticed that this does not say "complete". That's because it isn't. As a gift Ember is writing a bunch of fluff that takes plaace shortly after this story and will be posting that in a week or two.

So please review, and expect that fluff to be coming soon!

Ember and Rags to Riches-- the mutant penguins


	2. The Bonus Fluff that Goes With the Story

And now for that fluff the world was promised. Hope everyone enjoys and thanks for reading all the stuff Ember and Rags to Riches have written (if you have. If not, then thanks for reading whatever you did read.)!!!

kataang816-- Thanks for the kind review. Perfect ending, huh? Ember's glad you think so. Now have some icing to put on that cake.

MARYLOVER-- Yes, more fluff is even better. Lol. Especially with these two. Some pairings when the fluff comes rolling in Ember wants to go gag somewhere, but for some reason she can't get enough of good Ed/Roy fluff. XD

mrawgirl09-- 120 out of 10?! Ember's so touched. She loves you. Just like she loves everyone that loves her stories. It's people like you that encouraged her to write this bonus chapter full of fluff, so enjoy!

Slash Superqueen-- Any or all of those reactions would be perfectly acceptable. Ember cried the whole time as she was writing that and smiled widely when the fluff started rolling in. So she guesses she was kinda strangely hoping for a few tears to be shed. After all, it was a sad idea until Ember discovered she can't write pure emo, just this hurt/comfort type stuff that has a happy ending. She doesn't even know why she put "angst" as the other genre instead of "hurt/comfort", because they do get comforted... and now she's ranting. In a review response. Oh geez. *rolls eyes*

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Roy chuckled as the state of Ed's hair became more readily noticeable. "Your hair's a wreck," he pointed out.

Ed snorted. "If you want to do something about it, you can. I'm not moving."

Roy stood up, deftly stepping out of the way of Ed's grab for him, and quickly found Ed's hairbrush. Kneeling on the bed behind the edge where Ed sat, he gently began working the knots out of Ed's hopelessly tangled hair.

It was impossible to ignore the tiny sounds of happiness coming from Ed and the way he was gently leaning into Roy's touches. Smiling, Roy continued his ministrations long after Ed's hair was tamed once more, eventually throwing the brush aside and simply running his fingers through the hair.

Continuing to toy with Ed's beautiful hair, he gathered the strands and began messing with them before leaning forward to plant a gentle kiss on the side of Ed's neck.

Ed gasped and one of his hands flew to Roy's head, keeping it exactly where it was as Ed's own head tilted to the side to give Roy more room to work.

Smirking into Ed's neck one of Roy's hands began a slow journey over Ed's chest as Ed bit back a moan and grabbed Roy's wrist with his free hand. "Not now," he muttered fiercely. "Al's here; I don't want him walking in on anything."

Roy chuckled, ignoring Ed's wishes as his lips moved to the top of Ed's shoulder blade, assaulting his latest target with kisses and the occasional bite.

This time, Ed could not restrain his moan as his hand, still wrapped around Roy's wrist, dragged Roy's hand back into a downward trajectory.

Just before that journey completed itself Roy heard the door open.

~*~*~

This was officially the most embarrassing moment of Ed's adult life.

He had wanted to restrain himself, really he had. But like always, the way Roy made him feel beat out his desire for discretion.

That wouldn't have been a problem if his brother hadn't opened the door to see him flushed and panting with physical need, eyes wide but darkened and unfocused, head tilted to one side in invitation as his hand dragged Roy's own lower and lower.

Naturally Ed had frozen as soon as the door opened, making sure Al saw everything Ed hadn't wanted him to. His younger brother had instantly reddened and shouted something about suddenly needing to go grocery shopping and not to expect him back for an hour or more as Ed finally moved past the initial shock and whipped around, burying his head in Roy's chest to hide his embarrassment.

The door slammed shut but Ed didn't move, still dying inside from the shame of it all.

Suddenly a hand found its way under his chin and forced him to look into amused dark eyes. "You know, it could've been worse."

Ed reddened further, making a few cherries outside cry with shame because he'd beaten them for sheer color. "I don't see how. I… never really wanted him to know about that side of us. He's too innocent for that."

Roy snorted. "Innocent? He's practically engaged to Miss Rockbell and you call him innocent? I swear he'll be moving in with her any day now."

"There's a difference between having a love life yourself and suddenly walking in on your brother's," Ed defended.

Roy's eyes darkened further. "You do realize that he really got off easy, right? For example, he could've walked in on _this_," he said seductively as he captured Ed's lips in a passionate kiss and gently shoved him down onto the bed.

"_Roy_!" Ed half-shouted and half-moaned as he suddenly broke off their kiss. "Now's not the time for that! Look what it just got us into!"

"Oh, I know what it got us. Did you not hear what Al said about leaving us alone for an extended period of time? I suggest we make full use of it."

As if his words weren't enough to convince Ed Roy moved fully on top of him, kissing his way down Ed's neck, a hand wandering under Ed's shirt as Ed moaned loudly and arched into the touch.

Roy chuckled. "Should I take that as a 'yes'?"

"No," Ed gasped. "You should take that as a 'hell yes; now get on with it already'." And Ed's hand grabbed Roy's shirt collar and dragged him down once more.

~*~*~

Later, as Ed and Roy assisted Al in putting away the groceries he had suddenly felt an urge to go buy, Roy was having a harder time than usual keeping his eyes off of Ed.

Roy couldn't help it if he thought the way Ed still blushed slightly whenever he looked in Al's direction was the cutest thing he had ever seen.

Noting that Al had edged away at the first opportunity, Roy walked up behind Ed quietly, suddenly wrapping his arms around him when he was close enough. "Hey there, beautiful," he smirked.

Ed jumped, then relaxed into the embrace. "I'm not beautiful. Honestly, I don't know why you keep staring at me like that."

That was a problem, and one Roy intended to fix immediately. Turning Ed around to face him, he stated, "You are beautiful. No matter what you think, that'll never change, so you may as well get used to it." Ignoring Ed's sound of protest he continued. "You're the most beautiful person or thing I've ever seen, no matter what you're doing. You'd be doing yourself a real disservice to think anything less of yourself."

It was true, every word of it. And after he finished saying it Roy couldn't help but look back into the very recent past and revisit the most beautiful sight he had ever seen involving Ed. Really, it had been quite stunning to see that uncertain-yet-loving look in Ed's eyes as he asked Roy to make that time different, slow and loving instead of their usual fast pace, and of course Roy couldn't deny that beautiful creature anything.

For the first time since the beginning of their unusual relationship, they had made love instead of just screwing each other senseless.

But enough musing. Ed was looking at him again. "Am I really?" Ed asked quietly.

Roy smiled gently, wrapping his arms around Ed's waist and pulling him closer. "You are," he replied, his voice equally soft. "You're beautiful and so much better than I could ever be and I have no idea why you love someone like me but I'm sure as hell not complaining."

Ed smiled and threw his arms around Roy's neck, holding him close before kissing him gently.

Ed jumped at the sound of a throat being cleared. "All right, lovebirds," Al declared, walking into the kitchen with Winry by his side. "Kindly stop whatever you're doing so we can have a lovely chat and torment the two of you."

Chuckling at Ed's panicked expression Roy took him by the hand and led him to the nearest available seat.

~*~*~

Ed smiled as the pleasant memory continued. The two of them had been relentlessly teased by Al and Winry, but it had been the best day of Ed's life.

It was almost a year later, and he and Roy still acted much as they had that first day around each other, despite Al's protests that they'd been together too long to still act so sickeningly sweet.

Still smiling, Ed opened his eyes to meet the still-breathtaking sight of Roy's face. He looked especially beautiful when he was asleep, and Ed hardly ever got the opportunity to see that because most of the time Roy woke up before him. Still, he savored it at every chance he got.

Ed wasn't quite sure how long he lay there staring before Roy's own eyelids fluttered. Smiling drowsily, Roy looked at him and said, "Good morning, beautiful."

No longer protesting the adjective because he knew Roy hated it when he did that, he allowed his own smile to grow wider as he moved closer to the older man. "Good morning, love."

They lay there like that for quite some time, arms around each other, Ed's face buried in Roy's chest, both of them smiling like it was the first time they had woken up together even after all that time together.

It was at times like these that Ed found himself truly thankful they had discovered their love was what really mattered.

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Aww. Wasn't that sweet? Yes, Ember's pretty sure they'll act like newlyweds (sans the near-constant sex when they get old, lolz) till their dying day(s).

Love you all!

Ember and Rags to Riches-- the mutant penguins have given the world yet another reason for a sweet tooth with all this saccharine fluffy goodness


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